SUCK IT UP!

“I have had one of the worst days of my life.  My publicist turns out to be a registered sex offender.  She made a mockery of my work about sexual abuse.”

“Wow, Mom!  How could you have known that with her being so concerned about getting your message out?”

“She willfully joined my work to destroy it!”

“Mom, don’t be so hard on your self.  You trusted her and that is no crime.”

“You don’t understand I have lost everything to a predator.  She knew my work was about helping people who have been victimized!”

“I’m sorry you are so upset, Mom.”

“On top of that, I was turned down for a promotion on my job.  Everybody else but me was moved up!”

“That’s cold!”

“My car wouldn’t start this morning and I had to call AAA to jump it making me late for work.  I needed that time lost for something else.”

“Mom, we are going to have to go to Wal-Mart.”

“Wal -Mart?”

“Yeah and we are going right now!”

“What are we going there for?”

“To get you some straws so that you can suck it up!”

“What?”

“Yeah, Mom, we are getting you some straws so that you can suck it up!”

“Wait a minute!  Didn’t you hear what I just told you?”

“Yeah, I heard you and that is why we are going to Wal-Mart.”

                Baffled and mentally confused I looked at my son like he had to be out of his mind.  Here I am agonizing over my day and he tells me we are going to Wal-Mart to get me some straws.  We were sitting in a booth at Red Lobster when all this occurred.  I looked a round and looked back at him and burst out laughing.  I didn’t know what else to do.   It was like my emotions were tripped up and they didn’t know what to feel in this moment.  My son was laughing and smiling so enjoyably that I felt the blessedness of his state of mind.

                “You know, I can’t even be mad at you.  You just took me out of my world of misery and placed me in a state of happiness.”

                “You will be alright.  You always say everything happens for a reason.”

                That moment was so profound that I wanted to cry with joy in my heart because it was revealed to me that it was time to feel something else besides pain.  I was justified in my pain and disappointment.  But it did not mean I had to stay there.  As I re-assessed my day, I realized my son gave me what he had, his sense of humor and desire for me to be happy.  I had to choose to accept pain or pleasure. 

                The thing about being victimized is victims must eventually choose to release the experience or let it control their lives.  My day was not just awful it was beautiful.  I was blessed to sit in my favorite restaurant and enjoy my son.  True, my losses were great in reference to my publicist stealing my work, trust, money and dreams but it was important for me to understand my own belief:  “Everything happens for a reason”.  My belief was correct.  I was able to write a book about my experience that revealed to me that without it, I would not be able to profoundly assist in the healing process of childhood victimization. 

                When I got home that evening, I laughed to myself because I couldn’t believe my son had the audacity to make a joke out of my suffering.  Even to this day, I laugh about it because laughter was found in me even when I felt like crying.  Imagine if you will listening to someone pour out their heart to you about their inner pain and you listen tentatively and even offer words of understanding their plight.  Just when they think you are joining them with compassion and empathy, you gently steer their thoughts to the nearest store to purchase them some straws that they may SUCK IT UP!  You laugh uncontrollably because you know what you are doing and they don’t.  They look at you with the most complex disbelief but laugh with you.  That moment will always be with you and that person because it forces the choosing to let go and accept the goodness of this moment.  I call it instant healing.

                Of course, we know some situations you do not go there.  But trust me there are so many opportunities to go there.  Somebody out there needs to SUCK IT UP!  Help them get there.