2 posts tagged “abuse”

MOLESTED ANGEL GET HER WINGS

As a survivor of molestation, I can honestly say there is a beautiful life after being molested. I remember watching "Woman Thou Art Loose" by TD Jakes. In the movie, the main character, a young female was raped by her mother’s boyfriend who took her virginity. Neither her mother or anybody in her life knew her inner suffering with this experience. That hidden anguish grew to self-destruction.

The movie bothered me from the standpoint that when a man of God counsels this young lady knowing her deep seated anger and offered her no answers and in the end no hope. This was a great devastation for me because the victim ends up shooting the victimizer at the altar in the House of God. People found this to be an excellent movie. I found it to be a preying on emotions and a means of an income dealing with a subject so complex and soul altering that to tamper with it with no resolve was unjust to molested victims needing help. Several years later, I still remember this disappointment.

With this in mind, I want victims, not only molested victims to know and understand there is hope and there are answers. We just have to discover our own path to God. I wrote a book, "LAST DAY OF VICTIMIZATION". This book reveals the soul of victimization and prepares victims and those who love and want to assist in the healing process answers and a real understanding why we are victims. Trust me if you really want to be delivered from your past, it can happen and it will if you consider the possibility it is because you are a child of God therefore you are a target for potential abuse.

Though many people would hate to admit, healing from molestation and many other forms of abuse takes time, lots of time. It is a shifting of gears from low to high with neutral sometimes making us think we are not progressing. I want molested angels all around the world to know you can and will accept your wings of freedom. When it happens you will know it. I remember accepting my wings. It happened in a way that never entered my mind. I owe it to my soul mate. I will ever be indebted to him.

Standing up for one’s feelings, needs and desires was difficult for me as a molested victim because that natural choosing was denied me for so many years of my life. I faced the world not acknowledging my true feelings that made me who I am. Instead, the needs, feelings and desires of the ones I loved had precedence over mines; but finally after much trust in God and allowing myself to rise out of my private abyss, I spoke from my soul and risk the chance of disappointing or even losing my soul mate. See in the past, I was hollered at or spanked if I expressed my true feelings. But my day of realizing God has brought me from a long way I spoke and received my Wings of Healing. Today, I can say: God will restore the years of the locusts. My past can no longer paralyze my presence. To be free is knowing you are AMAZING!

LAST DAY OF VICTIMIZATION (EXCERPT)

Gripping the Soul

A HORRIFIC MOVEMENT HAS TAKEN PLACE MAKING US AWARE WE ARE AN INDIVIDUAL AND WE HAVE A SOUL.  It is a taking that mars our total being.  It carries the vibrations of a wounded animal dying with no value.  Immediately when something is taken from us a death-like agony fills our emotions and feelings.  It makes us aware of a reality beyond the body and worldly environment.  We come to realize what we are made of.  That part of us silenced by external influences now becomes louder than our physical environment.  We feel like we’re bleeding yet in many cases there is no blood.  Something is oozing coming forth like puss from an infected wound.   We try to stuff everything back inside ourselves but whatever it is, we can’t see or touch it to control and direct it. It is like someone has literary pulled our hearts out of our chests and held it in their hands.  We see them with it but we can never get it back; yet we are alive and we have to go on although this huge part of us is gone.

It takes hold of our total mind and heart and festers into sweet sorrow because we have been robbed of our natural life flow to experience the moment uninhibited by evil forces.  Bitterness follows in most cases because that is what unjust pain becomes. The instant preparation of a private abyss formulates to pull us deeper into the darkness of our agony.

 My soul is weary of my life; I will leave my complaint upon myself; I will speak in the bitterness of my soul.  Job 10:1

Doses of Reality

          As the time passed, I grew too weary to think about what happened to me; instead my interest was in what was it about me that gave my victimizers the signals I could be captured.   I went back to the nature of a child because children are the most sought after and innocent victims in the world today.  They have the potential to allow love to be given and received.  Children give us a chance to do the right thing for humanity. 

            Compared to a child, I found I as well as people I had talked to who had been victimized, all had a heart to do the right thing by people and life.  We tend to have a respect for God and our spirituality.  When I accepted this woman as a partner in fulfilling my dream, I was busy praying and hoping to be a blessing in her life because there was no pleasure for me being blessed alone. 

            Where I was thinking about prospering her life while we worked towards my goals, she was interested in her own progress at my expense.  She led me to believe the value of my dream was valuable to her as well.  There was not anything childlike about her presence.  Her presence in the world joined the other worldly conscious of greedy and selfish people.   

Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour: 1Peter 5:8